Be afraid lil' sheepie

 A game of Border Reivers, using Howard's Chainmail Bikini rules in progress.

The warden has come to rearrest the missing sheep before the Dastardly Blackhuts can herd them away.

Gurps: vs the Devil's Tail

 

(From the  journals of Burhy ibn Qat'ma Al-Ma, gentleman and world traveler)

...After a harrowing night within the strange tower of the devil monks, we decided to set forth for the Lonely Mesa, rumored to be the home of an Efreet and the last resting place of one of the great scholars of Jidd-Bagdehara. It was but a short trek through the desert, and fortunately we encountered few hazards. However, no sooner had we arrived than a Sand-Skiff was sighted on the Horizon. At first I thought perhaps the Tukish men had merely misunderstood our earlier instructions, for they are a slow-witted people, if cunning in their deviousness. However, aboard this craft was none other than Sister Jackaline!
She had hired the same Tukish who had brought us across the desert, having received dire portents of evil afoot. Accompanying her was a Sorceress of Geeb, whose wanton exploits with Mr. Cole I related earlier. It is much to my grief that even those who dwell within our borders cannot live up to the moral standards of we Bagdeharans, but given the nature of the Sorceresses such lewd behavior is to be expected. I urge any of my readers with a scholarly interest in this subject to seek out my forthcoming companion volume “On the Connection Between the Use of Magic and Lasciviousness”, which will be fully illustrated by one the world’s foremost experts on anatomy.

There was another to accompany the Sorceress, a man who called himself Sir Brad of the Pitt. He was a most familiar sort, quick to laugh and to clasp hands with strangers. Curiously, he claimed to be a knight of Remagen, yet wore armor that left little of his rippling physique to one’s imagination, a habit I have never observed among those people. Still, Sister Jackaline informed us that these two strange people had arrived to aid us in our venture up the Lonely Mesa, though she confided she found them most suspicious. Mister Cole volunteered to guard the Sand-Skiff, and ensure that the erstwhile Tukish did not flee off into the desert again.

The rest of us began a slow and steady ascent of the mesa. The land was barren, save for outcroppings of rock, and I caught sight of neither structures nor statues to tell that the place had ever been inhabited. Sharp-eyed Ama the cook spied a suspiciously discolored patch of earth along the slope at the side of the trail, and soon we uncovered a cleverly hidden door! Surely this was the passage into the hidden crypt of Keraptis, a font of incredible dark knowledge and the doom of the great scholar Khalid ibn Yazid!

Torch in hand, we descended a flight of stone steps, and entered a dusty chamber. Bones and ancient, rusted weapons were scattered about the floor, and alas I was certain that these must be the stout servants of the great Khalid. However, backed by my trusty companions (and the rather brash and foolhardy Sir Brad), with the God King’s favor we might survive where those others had met their fate.

As we picked over the bones, we suddenly heard a dreadful clattering. From the corridors surrounding the chamber, a horde of the dead themselves arose! The skeletons of long dead warriors approached, clasping ancient swords in bony fists, their empty eye sockets filling us with unimaginable dread!

Thinking quickly, Sister Jackaline and Sister Nicole summoned great walls of flame to drive the creatures back. Sighting a dead warrior wearing more complete armor than the rest, I remembered the tales in the past of necromantic warriors acting as the conduit through which their lesser servants were animated. I hurled one of the miraculous “Explosive Darts” (whose exciting acquisition I have spoken of earlier) and the fearsome explosion blew this dead man apart. No sooner had his skeleton burned, than many of the others began collapsing, their spirits no longer enslaved by the dark being’s will. However, that was not to be the end of things, for a great horde of skeletons was beginning to emerge from the depths of the dungeon.

Sister Jackaline redirected her flame wall to block off one passage, while we fought our way through another, dispatching the few remaining skeleton warriors who blocked our path. We discovered an archway to another room, but this arch was covered by a strange web. No sooner was this cobweb disturbed than it erupted in a mighty gout of flames and a thunderous report! We were fortunately unscathed, by I recalled that the great Khalid had warned of Keraptis’s many traps and cunning ploys, and so we proceeded into the next chamber with caution.

Within we found a pair of rooms, as well as a third, web-covered doorway beyond which we were fairly certain yet more of the undead awaited. One of the rooms appeared to be a great library, filled with scrolls and books, whilst the other was filled with treasure! Helmets gleamed and jewels shined, and I recalled the words of the scholar Malik Ibn Taizard “Always be the first to seize a chance at profit!”

Heeding that wisdom, I stepped into the treasure room, yet no sooner had I crossed the threshold than a great blade came crashing down form the arch above. Thankfully I was able to step away at the last possible moment, but the blade sliced through the turban wrapping of my helm, causing me no end of embarrassment! Realizing that not all was as it seemed, I proceeded with caution, for one must always be on one’s guard when surrounded by the Treasures of Evil.

I turned to a seemingly innocuous chest with a heavy iron lock upon it, and gently prodded the object with my Bialminshar. No sooner had I done this than my suspicious proved correct, for the chest was in fact alive! A dreadful shape-shifting beast, it stretched its tentacles out and wrapped them about me, pulling me towards is gaping, many-fanged maw. With no room to swing my magnificent sword of many blades, I was sure to meet my end, but suddenly Sir Brad of the Pitt sprang to my aid! A foolhardy man to be sure, yet he clearly felt no fear within his heart, for he slashed away at the beast with his heavy ax. Together with my other companions, he worked me free of the monster. Drawing the Devil-Dicer, I lay a mighty blow on the beast, and soon the mimic was no more!

Whilst we took stock of the treasure room, Lady Morgan investigated the library. Soon she became completely entranced by a particular book nothing could rouse her. This is yet further evidence that it is better for a lady of breeding to be read to, rather than to read herself, unless she has purchased a work from the House of Qat’ma’s Fine Scrolls Emporium, which are all certified to be completely acceptable for maidens to read by themselves and are priced competitively.

With Morgan completely enraptured, we were faced with a difficult prospect: she had warned us that the room was filled with dangerous traps, yet none of us were certain we could pry her out without triggering one of the deadly devices. Again, it was the clever Sisters who came up with a solution: they used their magic to levitate the chair Morgan sat in, and pull her from the room. Once she had left, the spell on her was broken, and the startled Morgan warned all of us not to enter the library for it was a place of great doom.

With the company temporarily safe, we evaluated the items taken from the treasure chamber but sorrowfully learned that all of these items were cursed and useless to righteous souls such as we. We then set to plotting our next step. With my mastery of Bagdeharan strategy, I suggested that we deliberately break the next cob-web door, then rush in after the great explosion, taking advantage of the chaos to surprise our foes. However, Sister Nicole pointed out that she had observed a strange magical eye spying on us, suggesting that the dark wizard who was animating these dead warriors might already know of our plans.

With no better solutions, we grimly made ready to fight. Ama took aim with her sling while the rest of us took up positions, ready to rush forth. I cried to her to loose her stone, and just as she did so, Sister Jackaline shouted “FOLLOW ME! QUICKLY!” In a voice that brooked no argument!

She darted off down the corridor she had previously blocked with flames, and I was quickly on her heels, for it is ungallant to let a maiden stride into danger alone. As we ran, I recognized the subtleness of her plan: we would wrong foot the necromancer who had been spying us by doing the opposite of what we had discussed!

We rushed into a vast, open chamber dominated by one of the strange “Air Gates” of the ancient Thotep, and Sister Jackaline’s quick thinking proved fortuitous once more. Within that chamber was a veritable army of the dead, but all had positioned themselves to ambush the web door. Had we charged through as planned, we would have surely been felled by a volley of arrows! But Skeleton warriors alone were not our only peril here, for there was also a being most vile and menacing: a huge serpent, coiled unnaturally upon the ceiling and made entirely of ancient, decaying bones. What this monster had been in life I dread to think, but even in undeath it was a truly horrific sight! It was none other than the mighty Bone-Naga, a monster not only fearsome in battle but powerful in magic as well.

It was then that Mister Cole came thundering up from behind us, voicing a barbaric yawp! For he had learned of our plight through the Sorceress’s magic, and had rushed to our aid. Shoulder to Shoulder with Cole, now the time had come for battle to be joined!

Never let it be said that fear stayed my hand, nor the hand of any of my companions, for we rushed upon the foe, blades swinging and arrows flying. Skulls were crushed and mangled, and the terrible Bone-Naga’s eyes glowed balefully. For a moment, I felt my will breaking under the creature’s gaze, but Lady Morgan cast a warding spell, and the two engaged in a mighty duel of wills while the rest of us fought its minions. I had thought the foe would soon be crushed, when suddenly I was struck by a volley of arrows. While my armor was proof against much of it, a lucky shot struck me in the jaw, whilst another arrow drove itself into my ear! I cried out in agony, blood leaking from my wounds as I staggered back. I had not felt such pain since my battle against the Warmasters of the Sons of the Sun, and I am not to proud to say that I was certain this would be the day I went to the afterlife.

But God did not have that in mind for me. Working through the magic of Sisters and Lady Morgan, I felt myself miraculously begin to recover. While still sore-wounded, it was mere moments before I stood again, ready to fight. Truly this is the lesson: that the God-King works through even those unenlightened souls, and so I say to you seek friendship with all, that the guiding light of civilization may improve these poor blighted infidels and someday redeem not just their minds but their souls as well!

Sir Brad of the Pitt, displaying yet again his mad courage and incredible fighting talents, was battling blade-to-blade with a skeleton warrior in the armor of an ancient king, while Mister Cole, having been magically enchanted to walk upon walls, pursued the Bone-Naga where it clung to the ceiling. The battle raged, and at a key moment, the Naga struck Cole such a terrible blow that he lost consciousness, and was left hanging suspended in the air! However, the spells of the ladies yet again came to our aid, blasting skeletons apart and driving back the Naga, and rousing Cole from his dazedness.

Sensing its doom, the Naga tried to escape from us through a hidden hole in the wall, but Sister Nicole used her magic to seal off the route of its flight. I called to the rest to stand back, and prepared to hurl t he last of my Angry Darts at the beast, certain the explosion would finish it. To my horror I realized Cole would be caught in the blast, a terrible reward for his valor, but he roared at me to hurl the dart anyway, and hurl it I did! The explosion rocked the chamber, knocking both Cole and the creature from the ceiling. As it collapsed in a heap of bones, for a moment I dared to hope the beast had been slain, but it was not so! It rose again, hissing at us menacingly.

Together with Sir Brad of the Pit and Cole, I rushed towards the wounded Naga. We hacked and hewed, daring away from its lashing tail and its blasting eyes. At last, with a cry of praise to our great God-King, I swung the Bialminshar, and its whirling blades sliced cleanly through the Naga’s spine. The dark magic that had bound it slipped away, and with a final rattling hiss, the Naga collapsed.

 Looking about me, I saw that all my companions still stood. Though our wounds were many, our clothes ragged and our armor stained, we were in a far better state than our foes: For they were now nothing but dust and ash...